The Day After Celebrations

The day after celebrations… We call them a “fun hangover” in our house. As the adult, it’s important to fully appreciate the rollercoaster of emotions and sensations our children experience during celebrations. 

We can fool ourselves into thinking that “This is fun. They should just be having fun. They should be grateful for this experience.” Consider this: The feeling of anticipation has the same physiological effects as anxiety; fear. Our children are excited, but excitement can be extremely disregulating. This varies child to child, but stop and reflect on your child. If they are more sensitive, feel big feelings, and have a hard time with change, celebrations may be harder for them than others. 

I am an extremely sensitive person. I’ve talked about feeling “vibes” for as long as I can remember. My mom loves telling the story of my fifth birthday party. I hid under the table while everyone sang me “Happy Birthday”, had a meltdown during cake, and fell asleep under said table. Was I excited? Yes. Overwhelmed? Yes. 

As we go into the weekend with a few major events, and head into the holiday season, here is how I handle “the day after”:

Rhythms:  

• I love our visual schedule for setting up our day at the breakfast table. If you don’t have a set chart in your house, you can just sketch stick people/clip-art drawings. Each major activity is given a picture. This isn’t meant to be a RIGID schedule. It’s an organizational tool that can always be changed if needed. 

• I attune to myself and my child. What’s my energy level? What’s my child’s energy like? I set expectations accordingly. I call this “Elsa-ing” expectations: LET IT GO! 

Rest:

• Prioritize sleep. Gently get back on the schedule. Build more time into nap time/bedtime routines. When kids are tightly wound/over stimulated, it takes more time for them to unwind. 

• Avoid rushing off to places and lots of transitions. 

• Brainstorm ideas that the family likes to do together that feels peaceful. For example, we like to walk in nature, go out on the boat, play in our yard. 

Reconnect:

• Even on vacation, I try to plan “quiet” days that have less people and less activities involved. If we have back-to-back days, I try to schedule a “buffer” day to give us a day to decompress before getting back to our normal routine. 

• This is key: BE PRESENT. Children NEED adults to be present with them to co-regulate. If our children feel our distraction, they will search for that connection. They usually search for connection with whining, aggression, leaning into limits. 

• Reconnect with nature. Sunshine helps reset our internal clocks, fresh air, big spaces, and the ground all help regulate our biological mechanisms that keep us regulated. 

• Minimize transitions. Transitions are hard for children, so keeping the day simple and flexible will give them the space to play, explore, and move! 

Lastly, make space for big emotions. All of that excitement and anticipation will probably need to be fully processed and released. Think of that fervent energy you can FEEL coming off of your child the day of or the day before celebrations. All of that energy has to go somewhere. It usually comes out in forms of challenging behavior.

Keep heart, this too shall pass.