Cozy Corners for Comfort: Helping Your Child Stay Grounded in an Over-Stimulating World

Setting up a “kid-friendly” environment can be deceptively difficult. In our culture, more is better and being busy makes us happier and smarter. These behavior patterns seep from our adult lives into our children’s routines, even though study after study demonstrates that overstimulation can, in fact, be detrimental to our children’s development. 

Children are able to filter options and make confident decisions when fewer choices are presented. You may observe this when your child opens the pantry door and stares at all their snack options. Then, they try and grab everything within reach. This ultimately results in a meltdown because they can’t possibly eat 3 bags of goldfish, 4 bags of cookies, 1 bag of yogurt bites, a box of crackers, and a bag of popcorn. Snack time goes much smoother when they get to choose between two options (Goldfish or crackers). Done. The first scenario can cause anxiety and feelings of helplessness, whereas the second scene empowers the child to make a confident choice. This is similar to filtering toy choices. 

Typically, when children have challenges playing with toys, one of the first changes I suggest is to put half of the toys away. Challenges can include: only spending a few minutes with each toy before moving on to the next, not cleaning up, aimlessly walking around the house/playroom, easily frustrated when playing, etc. A lot of times these children are overstimulated or overwhelmed with choices. 

By limiting options, children are able to focus and “settle” into a play schema. When they spend more time with one toy, they are more likely to extend the depth and breadth of their play. This extended play is the ideal learning strategy for young children! In other words, less is more. Oh, so much more! 

Hopefully, you have discovered all of this to be true with your toy rotation plan from the previous post. NOW we need to create a “less is more” and “not-busy is better” environment. One important component of such an environment is a “cozy corner”. A cozy corner is a place where children can go to decompress, relax, and feel safe. It’s a great alternative to “time-out” and can be a wonderful tool to teach your child self-regulation skills. 

A cozy corner is a soft place to land, both figuratively and literally. They typically have a cozy chair, over-sized pillows, bean bag, etc. Additionally, the corner should be out of the way, so away from high traffic areas of the house. The cozy corner should have calm activities such as books, coloring, puppets, or other novel, interesting activities that are only used in the designated space. 

HERE ARE SOME OTHER IDEAS TO INCLUDE IN A “COZY CORNER”:

1. Family pictures

2. Pictures of the child doing their favorite things

3. Fiberoptic lights/toys

4. Calming Sensory Bottles

5. Fuzzy Blankets

6. Fidget toys (Example 1) (Example 2) 

7. Books that show security, love, emotions (see previous blog post: Children’s Literature: A Discipline Tool?)

The toy rotation concept should be applied to this area as well (unless your child has a strong comfort attachment to something). By rotating toys in this area, it will stay interesting so your child will be incentivized to go in. Since these toys should be specific “cozy or comfort corner” toys, the rotation should be a “put away” rotation not a “rearrange” rotation. 

As adults we create our own “cozy corners” in the form of our bedroom, maybe soaking in the tub, a big comfy couch or chair in the living room. If you’re like me, there’s a coffee ring stain next to your seat, the remote or latest reading material is nearby. You have a system to decompress, unwind, and relax after a long day. Your child needs the same! If you have any questions or would like some personalized help in customizing your child’s “cozy corner” please feel free to contact me at caley@playwithpurposefl.com. 

Stay Cozy!